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Mind Your Manners  by Dr.Gibbs July 17, 2002

It's hard to believe a game that involves little more than running around killing things can actually have a dignified code of civility. Well, Quake does have a code, and it's one you should learn before taking your next plunge into the arena. Since you'll rarely meet the same person twice, it doesn't seem like there's much of a point to these unspoken rules - but, if you want to keep your fellow fraggers happy, you'll need to understand them.

First, let's talk about your general behavior. Your momma always said, "mind your manners". I doubt she was talking about Quake, but that's beside the point. Listen to her!

In every mode of play, there are many things you should avoid doing. Above all, don't tell everyone how good you are. No one cares - really. Few things are more irritating than a player that spends half the game saying things like "i b3 u83r 733t!!!!!!" and "I WIN!!!! I WIN!!!!" We can all see the scoreboard - we don't need to be told about it. In addition, try not to trash talk anyone. This isn't the WWE, so trash talking isn't funny - it's just annoying. If you can't win honorably, no one is going to like you very much.

While we're talking about talking, let's touch on another important subject: binds. Don't bind a key to a phrase and use it repeatedly. No matter how incredibly hilarious it is the first time, by the two-hundredth time it just isn't amusing anymore. That's not to say you can't bind phrases... just try to practice at least some degree of variety. This also applies to taunts. Try to use your character's taunts sparingly.

Speaking of talking, don't kill players who are doing it. That giant blue balloon you keep seeing floating above people's heads appears whenever a player is talking, in a menu, or doing anything that stops them from being able to shoot and move around. In other words, they're helpless - which means it's not fair to kill them. You're not only taking advantage of someone, but you're also getting a free frag... naughty, naughty, nuaghty. Moreover, as entertaining as it may be, it's not very nice to pummel lagged out players with the gauntlet. Having a bad connection is embarassing enough - they don't need help.

Enough about talking... your actions are just as important as your words. The first rule of thumb that comes to the mind of most Quakers is this: don't camp. Yes, it's technically fair since anyone can do it - it's far from cheating as many people say. Regardless, it's not a very nice thing to do since it annoys so many people. If you're trying to become likable, you should avoid it as much as possible. That being said, don't carry on about someone who is camping... it makes you sound like a whiner.

Don't bunny hop either. For those of you fortunate enough to not know, bunny hopping is when a player jumps over and over and over and over and over again until you feel like you just want to reach into that screen and wring his puny little neck, then - umm - well, anyway, don't do it. It's very annoying, and it really doesn't do you a whole lot of good since it also handicaps your ability to aim. It's just a newbie-like defensive technique that doesn't really work anyway. The more annoyed people are at you, the more apt you are to be killed. Don't be a ninny.

Speaking of handicaps, give yourself one if you have an unfair advantage. For example, if you're a server admin and you're playing with a ping of 2, do everyone a favor and set your handicap at 75 or something. However, don't set a handicap just because you're playing against a player that seems to be worse than you are. There are two reasons for this: first, they won't get any better if you bring yourself down to their level. Secondly, if you still whack them around it makes you look like nothing more than an egomaniac trying to make a point. ("I can kill someone while I'm handicapped! Wheee!")

Well, we've covered a lot of what you shouldn't do, so now let's cover what you should. Firstly, show some respect for your fellow players. No, you don't have to walk over to everyone to give them virtual hugs, and you also don't have to apologize every time you kill them. However, you should compliment people when they win or when they get a good shot in. A simple "n1" ("nice one!") is quick to type and it makes you at least appear to be a good sport. Moreover, don't forget to say "gg" ("good game") at the end of the match, especially if there's a small number of players. People actually notice when you don't say this.

Don't forget to talk during the game! This isn't IRC, that's for sure, so don't babble like a hyperactive six-year-old... but don't be completely silent either. If you talk, you appear to be a little friendlier and people are going to enjoy playing with you more - especially if you're a good comic. Make fun of yourself when you do something stupid, make occasional comments on how other players are doing, and maybe make small talk about something game related during quiet times or intermissions. Just don't get carried away.

That about does it for general guidelines... what follows are four small sections dedicated to the four major gameplay modes in Quake 3 - each one includes some more for you to consider.

Deathmatch

Really, since it's just a giant melee, Deathmatch doesn't have many rules besides those that were mentioned above. There's really only one: don't snipe - it seems to rub players the wrong way. Although it's an important tactic in other game modes, it's not a good thing to do in Deathmatch.

Tournament

This one is a little hairy, because when it comes to etiquette it's a whole different ball game. The basic rules of complimenting players and saying "gg" are very important here, but there are a few more to consider. For one thing, you should always say "gl" or "hf" ("good luck" and "have fun") or something similar before a match. Be a good winner, and be a good loser as well - don't whine, and don't brag. In addition, don't ever accuse anyone of cheating, even if they really are - it may not leave a bad impression on the cheater, but it does leave a bad impression on everyone else. You may know what you're talking about, but no one else knows you do - and you don't want to sound like just another boy crying wolf.

In the heat of the battle, don't pick up items like the Regeneration, the Quad, the Battlesuit, or any other powerups - excluding, of course, ammo, armor and health. Tournament matches should be as fair as possible. With the limited amount of time and frags allowed, 30 seconds with something like the Quad can give someone an easy win. If your opponent picks something like this up, don't decide to be vengeful and pick it up yourself - just ask them not to do it again. Chances are they will listen as long as you stick to your own word. Even if they don't, you may lose... but the people that see it happen are going to have a lot more respect for you.

And, last but not least, don't spawn rape in 1v1... it gives you a very unfair advantage, and it won't make you many friends.

Team Deathmatch

The most obvious rule here is that you shouldn't kill your own teammates. If you happen to do it by accident, be sure to apologize. And try not to steal all of the weapons and items - if your teammates don't have any weapons to fight with, then you're team probably won't win the match. Saying "I win!" is completely out of the question, no matter how much better you did than everyone else. A simple "Good job, guys!" will do quite nicely.

CTF

Again, don't claim solitary victory, don't steal all the weapons and items, and make at least some attempt not to kill your own teammates. Don't steal the show, either! Even if you're good at making runs at the flag, try to let someone else do it as well. If no one gets to play except for you, then no one's going to have very much fun, and they'll probably all leave. And, of course, be sure to always watch the backs of your mates, and keep them informed of what you're doing - if it's important. "I'm walking down the hall! Wheee!" is annoying, "I'm going for their flag, watch my back." is helpful.

Obviously, there's a lot more to consider than what was mentioned above, but by trying all of those things, you'll improve your game - and everyone else's as well. It may sound a little dorky, but manners are never a bad thing... Quake is supposed to be an entertaining test of skill, and if you mind your behavior, it will stay that way.

Now, go out there and be a sport!

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